For those of you who don’t know, my son Mark has autism. All of his life he has had ups and downs. Two years ago it got to the point, I could no longer take care of him and I had to put him in a home. I had a stroke and lost the feeling and all movement of my whole right side. It was so bad I didn’t think I would ever feel the wind against my face again or be able to write again. Both of us are doing much better, now. Although, I still struggle to do even the smallest tasks, I am grateful to be alive.
A Mother’s Pain
Some days, he speaks the sky in colors,
Draws stars with words I never taught.
He laughs—a burst of sudden magic—
And for a moment, all is caught.
I see the threads of all his growing,
Each step, a fragile, precious stone.
He looks at me—and I am glowing—
Then, just as quick, I’m back alone.
For then it fades, like tides receding,
The words, the light, the touch, the song.
I hold my breath, my heart still pleading:
What did I do? What felt so wrong?
His eyes retreat behind the curtain,
His hands repeat their silent flight.
I call his name—no answer certain—
The boy I knew slips out of sight.
We build, we climb, we reach, we tumble,
We trace the same path through the rain.
Each gain a joy, each loss a shatter,
Each day a mix of hope and pain.
I smile, I fight, I break in silence,
Then piece myself to rise again.
To love a child who’s always shifting
Is joy laced deep with aching strain.
But oh—how fierce my love keeps burning,
No matter where his mind may roam.
For every step, I walk beside him.
No matter how far, he is home.
Thank-you for reading.
Much love and Light,
Brenda Marie Fluharty
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A wonderful photo of mother and son love Brenda. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, and yet you perservere to write beautifully. Keep healing. Hugs 😍
Thank-you so much Debbie
What a loving and lovely picture of you and your son! I didn’t realize this had happened with both of you or how much time and effort it takes for you to write these blog articles.
Each will mean even more to me, Brenda. I cannot imagine what you have been through dear heart!
Thank-you so much, Sheila. I have always had a passion for writing and writing helps me heal, in more ways than one.
Many blessings to you and are in my prayers. Glad you have a strong and handsome son,
Thank-you so much, Rasma.
Thank you for sharing! I’m sure that must have been a tough decision as a mom. You made an important decision for both of your well being. Wishing you all the best with your healing journey!
Thank-you so much, Jennifer.
I’m so happy to see you back writing Brenda, this poem is beautiful. I didn’t realize you had a stroke, I’m so sorry to hear that but pray you are getting stronger each day. I’m still trying to work my way through the past year and I’ve missed keeping up with so many. Sending love and prayers for you and Mark, please tell him I said hi.
Thank-you so much Martha. I am getting stronger all the time.
There’s nothing like a mother’s love! My son is also on the spectrum, so I do understand a little of what it’s like. I’m so sorry you were forced to make a decision that I’m sure you didn’t want to make, but you need to take care of yourself. I’m glad you are both doing much better.
Thank-you so much Barabra
Brenda, so sorry for your troubles. Glad you and your son are getting better. Take very good care of yourself.
Thank-you so much